Introducing the Habeas Porpoise, your aquatic attorney.

[Note:  So, I finally have a contributor.  The Habeas Porpoise, in-house counsel in America, has volunteered to submit some articles to the Lawyers & Liquor.  I’ll get more information up about him at a later date, but right now I felt it might be a good idea to let him introduce himself.  -BB]

Hi, I’m Habeas Porpoise and I’m a corporate porpoise.  Let’s not get into how Habeas makes little sense in the context of corporate law, much less in-house counsel.  The point it, it works and I wish I could change my name without seriously jeopardizing my legal career.

OK, so on the real, substantive law discussion—

Hold on, can we just acknowledge that we are living in the age of “alternative facts” and cheeto-dusted executive orders claiming the entire population of India as attendees to a coronation inauguration?

And we’re back.  I’m a little schizophrenic when it comes to what captures my attention, and even moreso in what I choose to write about.  You should get used to this at the outset.  Boozy made the serious mistake of allowing me a public space to carry on and I intend to make him regret that daily.  You may find me here discussing some of the finer points of corporate counseling (Upjohn warnings, CALEA nonsense, etc.), the frustrating aspects (Shhh, don’t tell Legal!) or just the random happenings in the legal or political arenas.  You can also catch me on Twitter, though I don’t really grasp its importance (if any) at @Habeas_Tortoise (I was he before he was me).

I don’t have a planned frequency or anything but I expect you jerks to Facechat share, retoot, and print and post my articles around your workplaces so Boozy doesn’t realize he’s hitched his wagon to a beflippered chucklehead drunk on Contributor revenue.