Freaky Friday: The Curse of Johnny Frank Garrett

 “I’d like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my everloving ass, because I’m innocent.”

Welcome to Freaky Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, where we crack open the crypt doors to discuss the supernatural, paranormal, unsettling, unbelievable, or just plain morbid aspects and stories from the practice of law. I’m you obese crypt keeper, the BOOzy Barrister, and we’re about to take another midnight stroll through the darkness to discuss this month’s macabre tale of an allegedly innocent man that went to his execution defiant…and took with him pretty much every lawyer, judge, and spectre of the legal system that sentenced him.

So without further ado, huddle in around the campfire as we spin out the tale of the Curse of Johnny Frank Garrett.

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Injuries Suck: Explaining My Absence

So, I figure I owe you guys an explanation.

Back on December 11th I was in a car accident. It was a bit of a doozy, and but nobody important was hurt.

By “nobody important was hurt,” I of course mean I broke my hip but everyone else involved was fine.

As a result, I spent the remainder of December laid up on my couch unable to move or really think straight. It’s been a fun and happy holiday season, that’s for sure. I was out of the office, out of connection with reality, and out of drive to get the site updated, update the Patreon, or any of the dozen other things I need to be doing.

Yesterday I triumphantly returned to the office by hobbling in the door and staring blankly at my computer screen for a while. It’s still painful, but I’m back to it, and will be catching the blog, Patreon, and everything else up over the next seven days.

I want to thank all the readers out there who sent me well wishes and messages, and also the other lawyers out there who, particularly the guys in LawyerSmack who sent a gift basket to my office which my staff promptly ate.

I also want to thank my office staff who ran me case files to the house and put up with my constant phone calls to make sure the things they did without any prompting, like finding coverage for me, were done.

I’m hoping to be back to 100% soon enough, and will be back tomorrow to get some of the missed posts up and rolling for everyone.

Thank you,


Checking Your Privilege, Part 4: Forgive Me Father, For I Have Testified

It’s another glorious Monday here on Lawyers & Liquor, and that means it’s time for me to shake off the relaxation of the weekend and get back to doing actual legal work while messing around on the internet and, finally, that it’s time to give a bit of a gift to all of those law students out there who may be studying for or getting ready to take their Evidence finals. That’s right, I see you kids out there, wired up on coffee and stress, thinking that you’re ready to go. I know you’re about two steps away from a complete and total breakdown. So to speed along your eventual collapse into insanity, I figured now would be just an awesome time to remind you of how much you don’t actually know by discussing the Priest-Penitent Privilege in the fourth and, for now, final installment in my practice guide to evidentiary and testimonial privileges.

Previously, on Boozy Explains Shit, we’d covered the basics of an evidentiary privilege, discussed the Attorney-Client Privilege, and ruminated on how a good marriage can avoid a conviction while talking about marital privileges. But this time we need to move ourselves on over to another form of privilege, one that may mean the Bishop can take Father Murphy’s confession and then never have to appear in court to face the accusing eyes of the altar boys, and that’s the Priest-Penitent Privilege, or rather the right of a defendant to prevent their  spiritual guide from testifying against them for things said in confidence and in the strictures of the scriptures. So without any further ado, let’s all say a few Hail Mary‘s, but definitely no mea culpas, and dive right in.

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Film Friday: A Time to Kill – Four Truths in a Lie

There’s a sort of fucked up irony in watching Kevin Spacey seek the death penalty for a man who killed the rapists of his ten year old daughter. In 1996, when Spacey was presented as the District Attorney in charge of the trial of Carl Lee Hailey, father of a minor who was brutally raped and vengeance embodied against the abusers of that child, nobody could predict that one day Spacey himself would be in the same place as the two rapists killed by Carl Lee. Well, nobody except his victims, I suppose.

But this is where we’re at for this Film Friday, examining the big screen adaptation of John Grisham’s A Time to Kill, and talking about four unexpected truths regarding the justice system that a layman, or an idealistic lawyer who still thinks things are “fair,” can take away from it.

The world is one fucked up place, folks. Just really, really fucked up.

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Malpractice and You: Suck Less

Good morning you reprobates! Welcome to the after-school special edition of Lawyers & Liquor where I’m gonna make it clear that just because you have a law license doesn’t mean you’re immune from being a complete dumbass. Yep, that’s right, today we’re gonna dive deep into the realm controlled by USAffinity and shit like that to talk about the definite truth that at some point in your legal career, you’re going to commit malpractice.

Because you will commit malpractice.

Shit, I’ve committed malpractice before.

It’s surprisingly fucking easy to do.

What’s that? You want a fucking story about how goddamn easy it is to commit malpractice? Sure, why the fuck not.

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