Charlotte-an School of Law III: In which I lose my shit.

Let’s talk about Charlotte School of Law. Again. This is the third time we’ve had to have this conversation now, after discussing their probation and the subsequent yanking of funding from the Federal Student Loan program.

Charlotte School of Law just won’t give up, planning now to transfer students to a “sister school” in Florida with private loans to allow them to finish their law school education and go on to fail the bar exam.

Officials sent an email Friday saying they’re working to help students transfer to Florida Coastal Law. It’s owned by Infilaw, the same company that owns Charlotte School of Law.

Well, that’s just peachy.  You know, aside from the fact that it’s a fucking 5 hour drive from Charlotte, NC to Jacksonville, FL, and the fact that the majority of Charlotte School of Law students are from Charlotte, and the fact that they are sending students to another fucking school owned by Infinilaw.  A school which, according to this article, has the second highest academic dropout rate among law schools.

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The Importance of Facts: Assessing a Case

Let’s take a minute and talk about assessing your cases, okay?

I know everyone out there wants to get the most money they can, especially in these days of an over-saturated legal market and attorneys on every corner.  Practicing law can sometimes feel like hopping into one of those booths at the county fair where you spend a minute trying to grab as many dollars as you can.

Note: open your shirt and let the dollars blow up it.  It works best.

moneybooth
We all wanted to play this as kids.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve had a letter come into my office from some guy who took on a case with only the barest facts, and, in taking my measured time in responding, sent back a letter that contained a number of enclosures which completely shot their theory of the case to shit.

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Tiny Clowns and Shotguns

Every day I come in the office and fix my cup of coffee.  Then I look through the regional papers.  It’s no secret by now that I’m an attorney somewhere in the counties which surround Philadelphia (Ha!  I narrowed it down to a corner of a large state), so part of my morning reading normally includes the Reading Eagle, the premier paper of Reading, Pennsylvania.

Today I caught an article in it about a drunk shooting at clowns.

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“Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer?” Answer: What the hell man?

Portia Porter, Esq. is a terrible writer.  Her book, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? is likewise terrible.  It is a long, ponderous read of little value.  In attempts to be amusing, Ms. Porter comes off less like an experienced attorney and more like the kid on the playground trying to make people like her.  Both her talent as an author, and her expertise as a legal advocate, is called into question by this meandering, inaccurate, and frankly quite silly book.

Besides, I have it on good authority that she’s actually a supporter of several racially divisive groups, enjoys eating kittens with her morning coffee, and secretly supports terrorist armies in her spare time.  All in all, buying her book will almost certainly help fund the downfall of humanity and the destruction of our very nation.

…Ok, are the prospective clients gone?  Good, Good.

Guys, we gotta do something about this Porter lady, because that motherfucker is giving away the whole fucking game.

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