5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions, Part 1: The Obstructionist and the Buddy Guy

Let’s talk for a second about the assholes you meet at depositions.

Alright, so you folks should know that over the past few days I’ve been involved in the most hell-ridden part of litigation, namely the process of deposing an opposing party and letting them depose my client.  Not only were these depositions, but these were the most soul-crushing of all depositions:  The trial deposition, where civility flies out the window and people start talking over one another so quickly that the record appears to be half-written sentences with multiple interruptions.

If you’re not familiar with the trial deposition, it’s used when the witness that you’re deposing, and in some cases the party that you’re deposing, won’t be available (or may not be available) at the time of trial.  Here, in Pennsylvania, we also use it in certain circumstances where there’s no such thing as an evidentiary hearing because of the nature of the action.  In these rare situations, the entire evidentiary record as it relates to that one witness is going to be in the deposition transcripts.  The whole nine yards is in play in the trial deposition: evidence authentication, objections, responses to objections, etc.  The court then picks over the deposition transcript and makes determinations as to admissibility, objections, etc. in its review.

If they sound like long, tedious affairs, they fucking are.

You know what makes them worse?  Fucking Lawyers.

But it got me thinking over the weekend, as we prepared for round 2, as to the types of lawyers you tend to run into at depositions.  Opposing counsel’s behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary.  It was just more pronounced and combative.  He was an Obstructionist.  He could have just as easily been a Buddy Guy, a Blowhard, a Rabbit, or a Wildcard.

Oh, you don’t know what any of that means?  Well, that’s cause I just made up the fucking labels.  It’s what I do.  But generally, those are the types of lawyers you’ll run into in a deposition…hey, can you guess what I’m about to do?  That’s right.

I’m about to spend two days talking about the 5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions.

Continue reading “5 Lawyers You Meet In Depositions, Part 1: The Obstructionist and the Buddy Guy”

I’m alive

Alright, when I started this blog I was very clear that I’m a practicing litigator.  Well, I’ve been litigating.  I expect to have posts up tomorrow, Wednesday, and Friday this week.  Stop fuckin’ asking if I’ve abandoned it.  I haven’t.  I’ve just been busy making my nut the past couple weeks.

That said, here’s some music.


 

How to be Unexpected: Assessing the Social Media of an Unexpected Lawyer

Let’s talk Lawyer Websites again.

[First, let me say this to Portia Porter, Esq., whose book Alienation of Affections I have been promising to fucking review for two weeks:  I promise I’m doing it.  I swear.  I’m just in the middle of a mess of litigation and haven’t had the time to turn my thoughts into words.]

So, not too goddamn long ago I talked about two lawyer websites that hearken back to the heyday of Geocities.  That was fun, we talked about design choices and shit.  We also touched a little bit on how a website or internet presence can serve to brand your ass when it comes to obtaining clients and shit.  It was discussed, in a roundabout way, how having things like “I am a paragraph” appear on your website may take you from “competent attorney” to “can’t afford a goddamn website designer” in the eyes of a prospective client.

But what if, and stay with me here, what if your internet presence is so goddamn over the top that it’s ripe for critique?

One might even say unexpected.

Continue reading “How to be Unexpected: Assessing the Social Media of an Unexpected Lawyer”

Heading to Philly

I will be in Philadelphia tonight, out and about on the town as part of the mini-meetup for the Lawyer Slack, which is ran by Associate’s Mind.  If you’re an attorney in the Philadelphia area, feel free to let me know through here or on Twitter, and join in.  We may even put in a good word for you with the Grand Poobah of the Lawyer Cartel to see if we can get you some membership in the club.  Captain Eyebrows will be present for your taunting pleasure.

Still have questions?  Read on.

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