So, I love My Cousin Vinny. I don’t think there’s a lawyer in existence that doesn’t love it. Yeah, yeah, as we saw in the last Film Friday there are some errors in how shit goes down and the presentation of trying a case out of state, but still and all it’s a great fucking movie that captures the realistic and procedural absurdity of a real courtroom and trial perfectly. That’s why when Larry Kelter let me know that he had written a motherfucking sequel to the trial exploits of Vincent Gambini, the foul-mouthed attorney who set an Alabama murder trial on its heads and questioned the physics of a man’s stove on the record, I leaped at the chance to grab an advance copy and review it.
Then I promptly sat on my ass and repeated promised Larry the review would be “coming soon,” because I’m a piece of shit.
But I finally got through with Back to Brooklyn, which you can find through that link on Amazon, and let me say this:
Fuck you, Larry Kelter, for making me form the mental picture of Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei going at it.
Continue reading “Joe Pesci Having Sweaty Sex: A Review of Larry Kelter’s “Back to Brooklyn””
Portia Porter, Esq. is a terrible writer. Her book, Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer? is likewise terrible. It is a long, ponderous read of little value. In attempts to be amusing, Ms. Porter comes off less like an experienced attorney and more like the kid on the playground trying to make people like her. Both her talent as an author, and her expertise as a legal advocate, is called into question by this meandering, inaccurate, and frankly quite silly book.
Besides, I have it on good authority that she’s actually a supporter of several racially divisive groups, enjoys eating kittens with her morning coffee, and secretly supports terrorist armies in her spare time. All in all, buying her book will almost certainly help fund the downfall of humanity and the destruction of our very nation.
…Ok, are the prospective clients gone? Good, Good.
Guys, we gotta do something about this Porter lady, because that motherfucker is giving away the whole fucking game.
Continue reading ““Can You Stiff Your Divorce Lawyer?” Answer: What the hell man?”