Checking Your Privilege, Part 4: Forgive Me Father, For I Have Testified

It’s another glorious Monday here on Lawyers & Liquor, and that means it’s time for me to shake off the relaxation of the weekend and get back to doing actual legal work while messing around on the internet and, finally, that it’s time to give a bit of a gift to all of those law students out there who may be studying for or getting ready to take their Evidence finals. That’s right, I see you kids out there, wired up on coffee and stress, thinking that you’re ready to go. I know you’re about two steps away from a complete and total breakdown. So to speed along your eventual collapse into insanity, I figured now would be just an awesome time to remind you of how much you don’t actually know by discussing the Priest-Penitent Privilege in the fourth and, for now, final installment in my practice guide to evidentiary and testimonial privileges.

Previously, on Boozy Explains Shit, we’d covered the basics of an evidentiary privilege, discussed the Attorney-Client Privilege, and ruminated on how a good marriage can avoid a conviction while talking about marital privileges. But this time we need to move ourselves on over to another form of privilege, one that may mean the Bishop can take Father Murphy’s confession and then never have to appear in court to face the accusing eyes of the altar boys, and that’s the Priest-Penitent Privilege, or rather the right of a defendant to prevent their  spiritual guide from testifying against them for things said in confidence and in the strictures of the scriptures. So without any further ado, let’s all say a few Hail Mary‘s, but definitely no mea culpas, and dive right in.

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Film Friday: A Time to Kill – Four Truths in a Lie

There’s a sort of fucked up irony in watching Kevin Spacey seek the death penalty for a man who killed the rapists of his ten year old daughter. In 1996, when Spacey was presented as the District Attorney in charge of the trial of Carl Lee Hailey, father of a minor who was brutally raped and vengeance embodied against the abusers of that child, nobody could predict that one day Spacey himself would be in the same place as the two rapists killed by Carl Lee. Well, nobody except his victims, I suppose.

But this is where we’re at for this Film Friday, examining the big screen adaptation of John Grisham’s A Time to Kill, and talking about four unexpected truths regarding the justice system that a layman, or an idealistic lawyer who still thinks things are “fair,” can take away from it.

The world is one fucked up place, folks. Just really, really fucked up.

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Malpractice and You: Suck Less

Good morning you reprobates! Welcome to the after-school special edition of Lawyers & Liquor where I’m gonna make it clear that just because you have a law license doesn’t mean you’re immune from being a complete dumbass. Yep, that’s right, today we’re gonna dive deep into the realm controlled by USAffinity and shit like that to talk about the definite truth that at some point in your legal career, you’re going to commit malpractice.

Because you will commit malpractice.

Shit, I’ve committed malpractice before.

It’s surprisingly fucking easy to do.

What’s that? You want a fucking story about how goddamn easy it is to commit malpractice? Sure, why the fuck not.

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InkedFur’s Furry Friday: Alcohol Safety At Conventions

Hey you filthy animals, how was the turkey? In the afterglow of Fat Thursday, it’s time for another round of InkedFur’s Furry Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor, which means that it’s time for me to cast off the “normal lawyer” routine and embrace the Badger as we cast open the kennel doors and start talking about an issue geared specifically towards the Furry Fandom. Before we get into that, though, you need to be aware that the folks over at InkedFur.com are offering 25% off dakimakuras this month for only the first 25 readers that go to their site and enter the super-secret code…which you’ll find at the end of this article!

Cool, so, this month’s article is definitely self-aware. Like, “totally woke” self-aware, because it’s coming a week before Midwest Fur Fest, a huge fucking convention in Chicago, and it concerns a very specific type of convention safety. Namely, it concerns being safe with alcohol when you’re surrounded by thousands of unblinking fursuit eyes, and it’s geared towards the first-time attendee. Actually, I adapted this shit from a regular speech I give to high schoolers about safety right before they graduate, so, hey! You get to realize I’m like this all the fucking time and not just with the furry horde that has assimilated me!

That said, without further ado, here’s the Furry Friday guide to Alcohol Safety at Cons.

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Checking Your Privilege, Part 3: Marriage Means You Can’t Convict

Hey Dudes and Dudettes! We’re back with Part 3 of the Lawyers and Liquor look into evidentiary privileges and stuff. You know, those things that you see asserted in the court shows you watch while sitting alone at night in your apartment eating a Hungry Man dinner and pretending your law degree is worth something. Over the last two times, we’ve talked about the idea of an evidentiary privilege, and discussed the Holy Father of privileges, the attorney-client privilege. Today, we’re gonna go in the same direction: privileges that you or your client may have in relation to people they’re probably getting fucked by.

That’s right, today we’re gonna discuss the evidentiary privileges related to marriage. Buckle up, and get the engagement ring salesman on the phone, because essentially if you aren’t married, you need to shut the fuck up about your less-than-legal activities.

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