TiffanyvTwitter: An Open Letter To Tiff

Okay, so back in February I wrote about Tiffany Dehen, a USD Law graduate who filed a rambling, incoherent, and largely incomprehensible complaint as a result of someone creating a fake Twitter profile of her that implied her conservative political views meant she was a Nazi. Since that time, I decided it was best to leave well-enough alone, as Tiffany had proven herself to be sort of the litigious type and I wasn’t exactly interested in being dragged into the undertow on the sea of crazy that appeared to be brewing, and the fact that talking about Tiffany seemed a little too much like kicking a handicapped puppy. She was clearly out of her depth in this matter, suing both Twitter and her law school for $100,000,000 for the ostensible damage to her reputation.

This was, in my opinion, exactly the sort of lawsuit that the courts sort out on their own, without any interference from me or any other the other internet lawyer blogs who wrote about it.

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Too Many Lawyers: The Legal Profession Needs A Cull

Well, I’ve had a brief sojourn out into the wide world of weirdness that I seem to exist in these days, and in that time I realized that I’ve let several developments in the hellish landscape of ABA approved law schools go unmentioned, but definitely not unnoticed. So, for this Monday, I thought maybe we should discuss the latest developments in the raging dumpster fire that is the current legal education market, given the number of absolute fucking morons that have invaded my email inbox and Twitter timeline asking me shit about law school and attending law school in general.

As if they can’t just read the blog for any period of time to understand that my advice is always going to be “Don’t fucking go to law school, you goddamn moron.”

But hey, if these people were especially bright they wouldn’t be considering law school in the first damn place, would they? No, they’d be considering a more honest and lucrative profession, like dealing drugs or some shit, not looking at a way to actively make themselves poor while players in the very educational field they’re looking to gain admission to are dropping off left and fucking right around them.

This, in my opinion, is a good fucking thing, because we need to start doing herd management on lawyers, selectively removing the weak and least able from our ranks so the pastures out there can sustain the rest of us.

Yeah, that’s right. The legal profession needs a goddamn cull.

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So You Want To Be A Lawyer, Part 2: You’ll Disappoint My Dad and be Poor.

Now you know a little bit of the historical background of the legal profession, and know that we date back over two thousand years. Even as the Middle Ages stomped out scientific, cultural, and medical advances, it preserved the fucking lawyer nearly intact. The same bullshit systems that were in place under the Romans are still in place, and that’s not unexpected given the fact that lawyers, as a whole and individually, are about as likely to embrace change as Hitler would have been to appoint a Rosenbaum to his cabinet. We may not wear togas anymore, but we’re still the same goddamn profession people bitched about in Rome, and we always will be.

Still want to be a lawyer? Awesome. Spread your wings and fly, little fucking snowflake. I’m not gonna try to talk you out of it.

NOW LET ME TALK YOU THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

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So You Want To Be A Lawyer, Part 1: A Brief History of the Legal Profession

HEY! So, there were a lot of great suggestions for posts yesterday from my newly found technicolor zoo of friendly animal-people, but I woke up this morning and thought to myself: “Am I gonna listen to these assholes? I don’t even let other lawyers suggest what the fuck I’m going to write about!”

So today, I’m writing for all the people out there, you sweet little clueless shits, that have decided they may want to be lawyers. I plan on making this a continuing series, by the way, because there’s a lot to be said to the dumbasses that feel the need to become attorneys.

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Charlotte-an School of Law III: In which I lose my shit.

Let’s talk about Charlotte School of Law. Again. This is the third time we’ve had to have this conversation now, after discussing their probation and the subsequent yanking of funding from the Federal Student Loan program.

Charlotte School of Law just won’t give up, planning now to transfer students to a “sister school” in Florida with private loans to allow them to finish their law school education and go on to fail the bar exam.

Officials sent an email Friday saying they’re working to help students transfer to Florida Coastal Law. It’s owned by Infilaw, the same company that owns Charlotte School of Law.

Well, that’s just peachy.  You know, aside from the fact that it’s a fucking 5 hour drive from Charlotte, NC to Jacksonville, FL, and the fact that the majority of Charlotte School of Law students are from Charlotte, and the fact that they are sending students to another fucking school owned by Infinilaw.  A school which, according to this article, has the second highest academic dropout rate among law schools.

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