Fetish Friday: The Questionable Legality of Consent

Welcome to the second Fetish Friday here on Lawyers & Liquor where I’m going to walk you leather and latex clad fetishists through a legal issue surrounding the world of, quite literally, Fucking kinks. So Bigs, cover the eyes of your littles or send them somewhere to go play, owners go crate your pups, and scat enthusiasts, put a plug in it and hold it for later because this morning I’m gonna run my mouth like a bad boy about legality of consent in a BDSM atmosphere, namely, does consent remove the risk of legal action.

Hold on to your paddled-red asscheeks, folks, because the answer is “Probably not.”

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Fetish Friday: Not Bound to Be Bound – Master/Slave Contracts

I am such a glutton for punishment. Last week I wrote about the furries, and now I’m speaking at a furry convention next week. My Twitter feed has been taken over by animals.  Someone’s making a fucking fursuit. This is my life now. Seriously. This is my life now.

But it got me thinking: maybe I should make this a thing? I’m already locked into giving the furries (who are great fucking people by the way) one post a month focusing specifically on their legal issues, which we will call “Furry Friday” and will be doing on the last Friday of each month. Why not dive into some other shit on Fridays that nobody else in the blawgosphere is really talking about?

Hence what I am now calling “Fetish Friday,” the first installment of which is today and which will continue until morale improves in general. Third Friday of every month…which is today. And today, today I want to talk about something I read about on Twitter:

Master Slave Contracts. Because I fucking love contracts, and the fact these fucking things exist just blew my tiny little mind right the fuck away.

So, that said, let’s chat.

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Stop Making Yourself Unemployable: Lessons Learned from #TiffanyvTwitter

So last week saw the unveiling of Tiffany Dehen v. John Doe, Twitter Inc. and the University of San Diego School of Law, an amazing pro se complaint filed to Docket No. 17-CV-00198 in the United States District Court for the Southern District of California.  While this has been written about and tweeted about several times already by now, and the attention span of the internet at large is about that of a gnat, I decided now would be a somewhat decent time to talk about my thoughts on it.  More specifically, I decided now was a pretty good time to use this to teach a lesson to those folks out there with a J.D. and a dream of employment:

Stop making yourselves so goddamn unemployable.

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Overruled on the Grounds of Idiocy

Yesterday I was reviewing some court transcripts.  It’s a complicated matter, but only because of the background surrounding it, which involves approximately 19 civil lawsuits over the course of twenty years in state court, a couple bankruptcies, a federal case, a RICO claim, an airport, and a riding lawnmower being used as proof of official misconduct.  I came across this matter in reviewing things for another case, and it grabbed my attention.  I spent the weekend going through the information and case files, gripped by decades of litigation and backbiting in a small town.

One part of it stood out to me though, and it’s a perfect example of how even a minor detail can really fuck us over in this profession.  First year law students, practicing attorneys, and everyone else, sit the fuck up, turn off Spotify, stop texting, and pay attention:  Check your local rules and make sure your documents comply.  In looking through this whole case, the one thing that made me take notice was, if the motion had been properly noticed, the last 12 years of litigation would have been completely unnecessary.

The whole matter would have been resolved with one hearing, one check, and one payment.

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Getting What You Pay For: Free Time Billing Software and Ethics

Recently there was a post in a super-secret forum for lawyers asking about a free case management/time-billing software known as Praxis for Lawyers.  Always a cheapskate, I took a moment to go over there, sign up
for an account, and take a look around the software itself.  First, it appears to be truly free.  Second, it looks like it would be functional for a solo practitioner to bill time and keep track of his cases.  Third, it could end up getting someone in trouble with the ethics panel.

I probably should have led off with that third point, right?

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