Film Friday: The Paper Chase – A Synopsis

It’s another school year! The 1L’s are filing into the halls of their Ivy clad institutions with big dreams of going forth with their degrees and changing the world! In preparation of their time in law school, which they may have heard can be quite trying, they’ve likely read a number of books on the subject, such as Scott Turow’s “One L” or that wonderful book “Law School Confidential” and now believe they know all there is to know about surviving law school.

And for all of those idealistic little fucks wandering into their classes filled with the superior air of one that will be the next Clarence Darrow or Daniel Webster, Professor Charles Kingsfield of Harvard Law has some guidance for you:

“[H]ere is a dime. Take it, call your mother, and tell her there is serious doubt about you ever becoming a lawyer.”

Because, motherfuckers, you ain’t seen nothing yet, even though it isn’t like Hollywood didn’t warn your ass back in 1973 when it took a book about the horrors of being a 1L with a demanding professor, the crushing demands of law school, gunners, and, of course, looking like a goddamn idiot when put on call in class and turned it into the seminal movie for law students everywhere to show their friends in an act of mock bravado. Yes, buckle up, chucklefuck, because today we’re going to talk about the over-exaggeration of the horrors of law school that is The Paper Chase for this month’s Film Friday on Lawyers and Liquor.

Continue reading “Film Friday: The Paper Chase – A Synopsis”

A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 1.

I want to preface this whole thing by explaining something about attorneys in general: we like to think a little experience goes a long way.  A lawyer with no experience in a particular area of law, but a willingness to learn it, will take a small case in that area. We’ll do all the research and learning to be barely competent, and going forward we’re confident that we now know that area of law.  “Yes,” we’ll confidently tell people that ask us, “I’ve handled those cases before! I know what to expect!”

It was in this spirit that I went to FurtheMore back in April. Everyone had told me Anthrocon was essentially the fucking Super Bowl of furries, and it may be good for me to at least go to a couple exhibition games in advance. So, when FurtheMore made the offer to show a lawyer around their fandom, I accepted and had a great time!  So I was confident. I had been to a furry convention. I knew what to expect. I was ready.

…I was not ready.

I was amazingly not-fucking-ready.

Oh my god was I not ready.

I was so not ready that, guys, no shit…I’m gonna have to talk about Anthrocon in two fucking posts this week, with Film Friday (an exploration of lawyers in the media) being my review of Brian Cuban’s new book on addiction and the legal profession.

Which essentially means I’ll be posting about two days of drinking with giant animal people, then spend a day talking about the crippling addiction issues faced by my colleagues.

Continue reading “A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 1.”

“I’m a Big Ol’ Whore” : Boozy Introduces an Artist and Takes Your Money

So there’s a store now.

I ran an informal little Twitter poll last week to see if there was any interest in Boozy Barrister Badger shit. There was. This was run after a discussion with a friend of mine who’s a cartoonist, and who had experience drawing cartoon animals in the past, Ray Hubbard.

Ray’s an old friend of mine, we essentially grew up together. I was at his wedding. I’ve always thought he was an incredible cartoonist.  He’s about as close to a known furry as I knew before all this (though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t one). So, after our conversation, Ray ginned up this:

(Continued Below the Cut)

Continue reading ““I’m a Big Ol’ Whore” : Boozy Introduces an Artist and Takes Your Money”

Junior Brown and an Announcement

Alright, so first thing’s first:

Posting schedule is changing. Originally I was posting 3 a week on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I’m switching this up to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It’s just easier to have a day or two between posts. This doesn’t mean there won’t be posts on topical shit when it happens, there will, but this is the new general schedule.

That said, here’s Junior Brown with a little music for you.

 

Introducing the Habeas Porpoise, your aquatic attorney.

[Note:  So, I finally have a contributor.  The Habeas Porpoise, in-house counsel in America, has volunteered to submit some articles to the Lawyers & Liquor.  I’ll get more information up about him at a later date, but right now I felt it might be a good idea to let him introduce himself.  -BB]

Hi, I’m Habeas Porpoise and I’m a corporate porpoise.  Let’s not get into how Habeas makes little sense in the context of corporate law, much less in-house counsel.  The point it, it works and I wish I could change my name without seriously jeopardizing my legal career.

OK, so on the real, substantive law discussion—

Hold on, can we just acknowledge that we are living in the age of “alternative facts” and cheeto-dusted executive orders claiming the entire population of India as attendees to a coronation inauguration?

And we’re back.  I’m a little schizophrenic when it comes to what captures my attention, and even moreso in what I choose to write about.  You should get used to this at the outset.  Boozy made the serious mistake of allowing me a public space to carry on and I intend to make him regret that daily.  You may find me here discussing some of the finer points of corporate counseling (Upjohn warnings, CALEA nonsense, etc.), the frustrating aspects (Shhh, don’t tell Legal!) or just the random happenings in the legal or political arenas.  You can also catch me on Twitter, though I don’t really grasp its importance (if any) at @Habeas_Tortoise (I was he before he was me).

I don’t have a planned frequency or anything but I expect you jerks to Facechat share, retoot, and print and post my articles around your workplaces so Boozy doesn’t realize he’s hitched his wagon to a beflippered chucklehead drunk on Contributor revenue.