Checking Your Privilege, Part 4: Forgive Me Father, For I Have Testified

It’s another glorious Monday here on Lawyers & Liquor, and that means it’s time for me to shake off the relaxation of the weekend and get back to doing actual legal work while messing around on the internet and, finally, that it’s time to give a bit of a gift to all of those law students out there who may be studying for or getting ready to take their Evidence finals. That’s right, I see you kids out there, wired up on coffee and stress, thinking that you’re ready to go. I know you’re about two steps away from a complete and total breakdown. So to speed along your eventual collapse into insanity, I figured now would be just an awesome time to remind you of how much you don’t actually know by discussing the Priest-Penitent Privilege in the fourth and, for now, final installment in my practice guide to evidentiary and testimonial privileges.

Previously, on Boozy Explains Shit, we’d covered the basics of an evidentiary privilege, discussed the Attorney-Client Privilege, and ruminated on how a good marriage can avoid a conviction while talking about marital privileges. But this time we need to move ourselves on over to another form of privilege, one that may mean the Bishop can take Father Murphy’s confession and then never have to appear in court to face the accusing eyes of the altar boys, and that’s the Priest-Penitent Privilege, or rather the right of a defendant to prevent their  spiritual guide from testifying against them for things said in confidence and in the strictures of the scriptures. So without any further ado, let’s all say a few Hail Mary‘s, but definitely no mea culpas, and dive right in.

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Malpractice and You: Suck Less

Good morning you reprobates! Welcome to the after-school special edition of Lawyers & Liquor where I’m gonna make it clear that just because you have a law license doesn’t mean you’re immune from being a complete dumbass. Yep, that’s right, today we’re gonna dive deep into the realm controlled by USAffinity and shit like that to talk about the definite truth that at some point in your legal career, you’re going to commit malpractice.

Because you will commit malpractice.

Shit, I’ve committed malpractice before.

It’s surprisingly fucking easy to do.

What’s that? You want a fucking story about how goddamn easy it is to commit malpractice? Sure, why the fuck not.

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Guest Post: “Truths from a Legal Recruiter” from Butson Seitz, Esq.

[I have another guest post today, this time some words of wisdom from Mr. Butson Seitz, Esq. Mr. Seitz is a licensed attorney on the other side of the employment spectrum, working for a prominent legal recruiting agency. Think Manpower, but for lawyers, and probably with less heroin-addicted applicants.  Without further ado, I’ll let Mr. Seitz take it from here!]

Hi L&L readers!

Any friend of Boozy is an enemy of society a friend of mine. I’m an avid L&L reader and was recently enthralled with the Honorable Bill M. Hours’ guest post on stupid prophecies proffered by professors. I got hung-up on the resurgence of the legal job market bit and shot Boozy a note offering up my expertise on the matter. Now here we are. The job market for new attorneys hasn’t been good since the last time a Kardashian could see the crack of her own ass without a mirror. Finding attorneys and legal support professionals jobs is what I do to feed my ungrateful family, so I know why it still sucks to try and find a legal job. Pay attention future lawyers, I’m talking to you.

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Checking Your Privilege, Part 3: Marriage Means You Can’t Convict

Hey Dudes and Dudettes! We’re back with Part 3 of the Lawyers and Liquor look into evidentiary privileges and stuff. You know, those things that you see asserted in the court shows you watch while sitting alone at night in your apartment eating a Hungry Man dinner and pretending your law degree is worth something. Over the last two times, we’ve talked about the idea of an evidentiary privilege, and discussed the Holy Father of privileges, the attorney-client privilege. Today, we’re gonna go in the same direction: privileges that you or your client may have in relation to people they’re probably getting fucked by.

That’s right, today we’re gonna discuss the evidentiary privileges related to marriage. Buckle up, and get the engagement ring salesman on the phone, because essentially if you aren’t married, you need to shut the fuck up about your less-than-legal activities.

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Checking Your Privilege, Part 2: Attorneys and Clients Can Sorta Talk Openly

Alright folks, so the last time we did this shit it was discussing the concept of a “privilege” in an evidentiary setting. I ran through the basic concepts of what a privilege is, how it must be asserted, who holds the privilege, and the effect of a partial waiver of the privilege. The general idea to take away from all that is there are these things called privileges that allows you to bitchslap the other side when they start coming after that sweet, sweet information they so desperately want, be it during trial or in the hell that is discovery.

Today we’re gonna go a little more in depth and talk about the Attorney-Client Privilege, what it means, and how it is asserted, as well as how you, as the shitheel lawyer in charge of the case, can try to keep that shit from getting into the fucking record in the first place. But first, a war story.

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