Guest Post: “Truths from a Legal Recruiter” from Butson Seitz, Esq.

[I have another guest post today, this time some words of wisdom from Mr. Butson Seitz, Esq. Mr. Seitz is a licensed attorney on the other side of the employment spectrum, working for a prominent legal recruiting agency. Think Manpower, but for lawyers, and probably with less heroin-addicted applicants.  Without further ado, I’ll let Mr. Seitz take it from here!]

Hi L&L readers!

Any friend of Boozy is an enemy of society a friend of mine. I’m an avid L&L reader and was recently enthralled with the Honorable Bill M. Hours’ guest post on stupid prophecies proffered by professors. I got hung-up on the resurgence of the legal job market bit and shot Boozy a note offering up my expertise on the matter. Now here we are. The job market for new attorneys hasn’t been good since the last time a Kardashian could see the crack of her own ass without a mirror. Finding attorneys and legal support professionals jobs is what I do to feed my ungrateful family, so I know why it still sucks to try and find a legal job. Pay attention future lawyers, I’m talking to you.

Continue reading “Guest Post: “Truths from a Legal Recruiter” from Butson Seitz, Esq.”

Guest Post: “The Billable Hour will Die in 5 years” and other Pathetic Pieces of Professor Prophecy

Boozy’s Note: Today I welcome back our prior contributor, Bill  M. Hours, the insurance defense attorney who’s come in from the cold to talk about the asinine predictions his law professors and classmates made regarding the practice of law in the future. 

I like Bill. Bill has the requisite amount of snark. I’ll just shut up and let him show it off for you.

Enjoy! Continue reading “Guest Post: “The Billable Hour will Die in 5 years” and other Pathetic Pieces of Professor Prophecy”

Guest Post: “3 Different Jobs in my First Year as a Lawyer, and I Wouldn’t Change a Thing”

[Boozy’s Note:  Today’s post is a guest post from Bill M. Hours (obviously not a real name, though wouldn’t it be awesome if it was?). Bill is an insurance defense drone and loves every minute of it, having lost his soul way back in the early weeks of law school.

Today, he’s talking about how the legal job market sucks, I mean really, really sucks, and how he learned this jumping from sinking ship to sinking ship in the industry right out of law school. However, much unlike myself, Bill is an eternal optimist about people eventually landing in a field that makes sense.

I do not endorse his optimism. But far be it from me to disparage Billy Boy’s feel good kumbaya moment, right? So I’ll shut up now and let Bill talk.]

Continue reading “Guest Post: “3 Different Jobs in my First Year as a Lawyer, and I Wouldn’t Change a Thing””

Dracula: The Deadbeat Client

It’s Monday on Lawyers & Liquor, and the first order of business is “Where’s the second episode of the podcast, asshole?” Well, the answer boils down to “I’m a technological incompetent with little ability to do things without a person holding my hand.” The audio recording of my interview with this episode’s guest, Chad Murray from www.chadtalkslaw.com, came out fucking awful on my end and has forced me to amplify my entire half of it…and of course I didn’t record it as two separate tracks and shit, which would have made sense. So it’s been a painstaking process, but the next episode will be out this Wednesday, so that shit’s at least sorted out finally.

Next, tomorrow’s Halloween, and I fucking love Halloween. It’s the time of year where people get to dress up as terrifying monsters, which for me simply entails wearing my normal daily lawyer get-up, and go passively rob people of their candy through a series of vague threats. “Treat,” the little bastards cry, “or trick.” It warms my soul, what little bit of it remains, to see the next generation getting the hang of armed robbery so goddamn early.

But for lawyers, every day is fucking Halloween, isn’t it? I mean, we all deal with monsters in some capacity in our work, from murderers to child molestors, all the way down to the guy that’s simply not going to pay his bill and put some small company out of business because they’re a fuckin’ skell, right? Right, motherfuckers, right. And, in fiction as in reality, lawyers have represented some horrible fucking monsters, haven’t they?

Like Dracula.

Continue reading “Dracula: The Deadbeat Client”

F**k Avvo.

It’s been a long time since I had to censor a post title. I don’t tend to place curse words in the post titles simply because it’s bad practice, and it decreases the number of lawyers and legal folk that will promote, retweet, or link to the post in the long run. Some people care about what their social media displays, because they’ve linked the social media accounts to their professional image and firms and can’t really promote stuff that blatantly curses out others. It’s bad form for a lawyer to be professionally retweeting stuff about bondage gear and the like, and it’s bad form for a lawyer to be promoting blog posts that contain a string of curse words.

But Avvo, the legal website that lets people ask questions for free and allows lawyers to answer those questions for free, has drawn the anger of a drunken litigator for the last goddamn time. I’ve had it. I’ve had it up to my fucking throat in relation to this cesspool of legal marketing disguised as an “access to justice” resource for the general public and their “gun to your head” tactic of recruiting attorneys lockstep into their site. It’s time, motherfuckers. It’s fucking time for the reckoning of the angered lawyer to come down upon you with the full fucking force and let you know exactly how fucking much most practicing lawyers hate your exploitative asses.

Cover your goddamn ears, ye of big firm connections, because today Lawyers & Liquor is lashing out for the little guy who doesn’t have the goddamn time to answer the phone and explain for the 15th fucking time to some faceless rep that they have no goddamn interest in buying a promoted listing from you.

Today, we’re the Avvo-fucking-Avengers.

Continue reading “F**k Avvo.”