Film Friday: Schindler’s List as an example of “Morally Right, Legally Wrong.”

Alright, so over the past few months I pretty much intentionally embroiled myself in the controversy of “go forth and punch a Nazi” with the opinion that physically assaulting someone when their actions are mere speech, and not an imminent threat of violent action, was no bueno. The most common reaction to that opinion was that statement that it was morally correct to punch a Nazi, and therefore justified, regardless of the presence or lack of an imminent threat of actual harm. In essence, the opposition to that position boiled down to “legal or illegal, it’s right to punch people who espouse such vitriolic and hateful opinions.”

I mean, I personally disagree, just because I believe violence is an appropriate response to the threat of use of actual violence, not the intangible threat of some possibility of violence in the future, and I have some issues with the position we should legitimize violence as a response to speech (when it is only speech). Rest assured, I don’t like the goddamn Nazis, I don’t like the goddamn bigots, and I’m not saying we have to discuss the validity of their positions or “hear them out.” My concerns are primarily linked to that whole “slippery slope” thing we lawyers talk about, and the belief that if we legitimize a violent reaction then we’re handing them a nail-and-barbed-wire covered bat to come back with when we speak out against them louder than they speak out against us.

Plus I think that when you punch these fuckers, all you really do is give them more goddamn attention and air time and spur a national fucking debate about “Who the real Nazi is, hmmmm?” God do I fucking hate that fucking trope.

But that’s not the conversation I want to have for this week’s Film Friday, because the majority of people with two fucking brain cells to rub together all agree on the basic premise that Nazis, white supremacists, the alt-right, cue whatever feel good nickname they’ve come up with this month, are absolutely and positively shitheads who make no valuable contribution to society, whose opinions (while constitutionally protected) have no goddamn merit, and who we definitely don’t need to treat as having legitimate speech that adds anything other than disarray to the world. The conversation I want to have this week is a little more nuanced than that, and it’s the concept that something can be legally wrong, but morally right.

And I can think of no better way to illustrate this point than to talk about Schindler’s List, a movie which embodies the principle of “Legal is not always moral, nor is illegal always immoral.”

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New Milford Hates Fetishes: Politics, Optics, and Fetishes

So I was gonna spend some time today on the whole “1L Guidance” thing again, but you know when life reaches up and smacks you around a little? That happened Friday evening as I was preparing to go out and be the Amazing Dancing Badger for a group of furries in Connecticut over the last weekend. This time, the dose of reality came in the form of a link from the super-secret LawyerSlack, a place where attorneys gather…you know, like a Bar Association meeting but with less liquor and pretentiousness.  Someone posted an article about a Connecticut Councilman from the town of New Milford who “voluntarily resigned” after his participation in a certain fandom – possibly one filled with large talking animals and a love of the movie Zootopia – became even more exposed than it had been before.

And, because I’m not a goddamn fan of hypocrisy, let’s talk about this shit.

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A Porpoise’s Take on the Executive Order

I wondered if perhaps the administration was trolling us when it decided to issue an Executive Order (EO) restricting entry to the United States to (a) citizens and (B) visa holders from Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, Somalia and Sudan.  This is your new axis of evil.  A combined 218 million people who, when they aren’t struggling to survive each day despite disease and war, are obviously bloodthirsty terrorists just waiting to cause the destruction of the United States.

Look, the world is a really scary place, but it’s a really fucking scary place if you’re a person without a state or one who is wanted dead by the State.  We, as humans, do this not infrequently when the shit gets rough.  We blame groups of people, saying that we lost our jobs or our spouses or our savings or our lives because they took them; because they ­exist.  Japanese internment camps; the turning away of Jewish refugees from Europe; the Chinese under Pres. Arthur;  the Irish and the Italians, to all varying degrees they’ve been ostracized or rejected because we thought that they would bring us (or commit against us) unspeakable harm.  For the past 15 years it’s been Muslims.  Nary a day goes by since 2001 that Muslims are on the lips of someone talking about destruction and violence.  About how they’re bloodthirsty savages or how the religion’s existence is an existential threat to us all.

Now, the President has significant authority to set immigration policy when it comes to the borders, I won’t dispute that.  And I agree that, if you can identify individuals that pose a threat to the US, you should keep them out.  Let’s assume that the ban on these 7 groups of nationals is totally constitutional, I just don’t think it will work.  ISIS is not in the invasion-of-the-West business; they just simply do not have the manpower or the desire to do so.  It is far more effective to instill hate and fear in people and let their own prejudices and fears do the rest.  Will some of those people be willing to attempt entry into the US? Sure, of course they will, but it’s just as likely that this hypothetical guy or gal is coming from Belgium, France, the UK, Russia or one of the former Soviet Union members, so this policy really does nothing to secure anything.

I keep hearing that this isn’t a Muslim ban, that countries with the most Muslims aren’t banned. If tomorrow I was able to issue an EO which said “no one from Israel is allowed a visa to enter the US” what the fuck do you think would happen? You would call me an anti-Semite for putting up a ban of Jewish entry to the US, despite the Jewish diaspora’s enormity.  It doesn’t matter if there are more Muslims in Indonesia that in one of those seven nations.  If anything, that turns the ban into an ethnic ban, rather than a religious one.  We can have that fight too, if you want.

Can someone tell me what happens when a Kurd from Iraq seeks entry?  The President added in his comments on the EO that the exception for persecuted religious minorities is intended to help Christians.  If that doesn’t put a fine enough point on this being a religious preference or test, then let’s meet back here after DHS denies a Kurd, Yazidi or Zoroastrian, because it will most certainly happen.

I need to end this here and ask if this whole exercise of being afraid and angry is exhausting to anyone else?  I mean, I’m not even one of those with a venomous tongue and I’m so fucking tired.  I have to imagine others are too; I have to imagine that we could have put all this effort into something more useful.  But I think it’s convenient and easy to hate on groups and restrict their rights than it is to enhance rights of everyone, to make your own situation better.  It’s sloth that brings us to this state, not hate.  Were we not lazy, we’d look into the numbers and realize that Donald Trump’s assets are conveniently unaffected by the ban.  We’d realize that ISIS is taking every contextless tweet of Donald’s and live-streaming under the narrative of the US hunting down Muslims.  It used to be that they had to twist our words and actions, lie to their prisoners (that’s what they are, those living under ISIS control), they had to spin our conduct to look like we hated Muslims.  Now, they just need to retweet our President.  Honestly, I think the ISIS marketing department is probably going to be let go because there isn’t any fucking work left, just tell your followers to follow @realDonaldTrump.

-Habeas Porpoise

We Are a Nation of Non-English Speaking Gay Refugees: Rambling on the Executive Order

I try not to be overtly political.  Anyone who reads this blog, or my Twitter, knows that I’m a liberal and I have no great fondness for the current administration.  Anyone who talks to me knows that I had high hopes the orange-tinted blowhard – who has been systematically rejected by the New York society he wished so desperately to join – would not be welcomed into the White House on a tide of nationalistic, protectionist, and isolationist sentiment.  Those who know me know that I sighed the night of the election, and I have sighed every day since.

However, despite all of that, I smile and say “I hope he does well, and I hope his presidency is a successful and prosperous one.” Because despite political or ideological affiliations, I’m an American first and foremost, and despite my misgivings about Mr. Trump I certainly do want good things to happen to this nation that I love.

Unfortunately, I’ve failed to realize that what I think of as “good things” are not the same things others think of as good.  Like welcoming all those to our shores who seek a better life, a will to work, and the desire to become as American as you or I.  I think that’s the bedrock of this great experiment, the “city on the hill” that Reagan spoke of, the poem on the base of the Statue of Liberty that overlooks the entryway into the very city that bred our current President: all those who wish to become a part of this dream, who wish to be a part of our country, who wish to make us smart and strong and profitable are welcome.

Apparently, Mr. Trump does not agree with me.

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Stop Talking Politics: How to Preserve the Art of Not Being a Douche

Alright, so we have a new President.  He’s not the one I, as a lifelong Democrat, would have chosen, but he exists and no amount of alternative facts are going to change the fact that he’s now sitting in the White House quietly contemplating how to give it a spray-tan that matches his own hue.  I accept this.  I accept this in the same way that I accept the fact cancer is a thing that happens, but I still accept it.  That’s not the purpose of this post today, bitching about the President.  I do that enough late at night in the confines of my house, scaring animals and small children as I howl out my anger in the attic.

This is about you fucktards who just can’t shut the fuck up about politics, and I mean all of you, from the Jill Stein lover in the Prius all the way up to the guy who thinks that Trump is the second coming of Jesus.  All of you have this problem with running off at the mouth over politics and doing it all the fucking time.  In the break room, at the lunch table, waiting outside of court…and, importantly, in front of your fucking clients.

You’re a lawyer, dipshit, not a political analyst.  Cut it the fuck out.

Besides, you’re gonna lose some fucking clients if you don’t.

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