The ABA Web Top 100: Getting Out The Vote – Boozy’s Picks

OH SNAP!  It’s time to start nominating people for the ABA’s Top Web Top 100!

So, this is the internet popularity/substantive discussion contest that lawyers engage in every year. Essentially, we all get together and vote for whose website we like the most, and watch the losers not acknowledge the ABA Top 100 is, you know, a thing. I find it amusing that I was nominated for this considering my public feelings and opinions on the ABA, but let’s be completely fucking honest here: I’m a big old whore. I will most definitely take accolades from anyone willing to give them to me.  Even the ABA, who, as we’ve discussed, has a time traveling power that allowed them to establish the first clothier on the banks of the Rubicon.

So, to appease the internet overlords, I’m going to follow the trend and let you know who the hell I think deserves recognition for this (prestigious?) honor:

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A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 3

For the love of god, writing the after-action report for this convention is about as exhausting as attending the convention itself was.  But over the past three days, I’ve managed it.

I mean, it makes sense considering this thing was goddamn huge, but a man needs to take a break every now and again. However, much like a furry catching a red-eye flight to make it in time for the dance competition, I must soldier on with little rest and serious questions about the direction my life has taken. So, let’s soldier through to Sunday, and get a little bit of an after-action analysis done so I can stop seeing dancing deer in my mind’s eye and instead go back to legal stuff until the next time I have to address the furry overlords that now control my life.

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A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 2

Like we talked about on Monday, I went to Anthrocon last week to be amongst the furries. Having arrived on Friday night with no particular plan in place for how things were going to go, Captain Eyebrows and myself found ourselves plied with booze and top hats, directed around a convention center with rooms that double as airplane hangers, and spoken to at length about things that could be expected to happen over the next two days by staff members who, essentially, control the infrastructure of North America.  Then we returned to the hotel late at night to get a little bit of rest for what was surely a full day.

So, I mean, since this is going to be a long one, let’s just get right into it.

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A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 1.

I want to preface this whole thing by explaining something about attorneys in general: we like to think a little experience goes a long way.  A lawyer with no experience in a particular area of law, but a willingness to learn it, will take a small case in that area. We’ll do all the research and learning to be barely competent, and going forward we’re confident that we now know that area of law.  “Yes,” we’ll confidently tell people that ask us, “I’ve handled those cases before! I know what to expect!”

It was in this spirit that I went to FurtheMore back in April. Everyone had told me Anthrocon was essentially the fucking Super Bowl of furries, and it may be good for me to at least go to a couple exhibition games in advance. So, when FurtheMore made the offer to show a lawyer around their fandom, I accepted and had a great time!  So I was confident. I had been to a furry convention. I knew what to expect. I was ready.

…I was not ready.

I was amazingly not-fucking-ready.

Oh my god was I not ready.

I was so not ready that, guys, no shit…I’m gonna have to talk about Anthrocon in two fucking posts this week, with Film Friday (an exploration of lawyers in the media) being my review of Brian Cuban’s new book on addiction and the legal profession.

Which essentially means I’ll be posting about two days of drinking with giant animal people, then spend a day talking about the crippling addiction issues faced by my colleagues.

Continue reading “A Fully Functioning Furry Fiefdom: Anthrocon, Part 1.”

No More Phonebooks: Teaching Idiots to Find A Lawyer

I was supposed to review Larry Kelter’s new book, Back to Brooklyn this week, but that’s gonna get put off until Monday so I’ll have the weekend to actually, you know, finish the review. That sort of left me without a post yesterday, which is the main reason I’m getting one up on Thursday. If you’re not a fan of that, go to hell. I’ve been a little busy managing my goddamn mountain of furries and a few new cases that I picked up over the past week.

Both of which gave me a great idea, namely, how to identify a lawyer that you want to hire as opposed to an asshole like me that’ll want you to hire them. Apparently, looking through the Twitter feeds of idiots, I’ve discovered that too goddamn many people have absolutely no idea how to contact an attorney that doesn’t appear on a billboard or a mid afternoon commercial. This is a fucking issue, because people, and especially the subset of people defined as clients (those mouthbreathing morons) are attracted not to professional advertisements, but rather to eye-catching ads designed to rope you in.

This means that some folks are going to bad lawyers.

So, while I generally fucking hate clients and believe they deserve all the misery they’ve brough on themselves, I’ve decided that this one’s for you, Mr. Idiotic Lawsuit Bringer. Let’s talk about how you can skip right over the shitstains that populate the legal profession and hire an attorney who’s worth a damn.

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