Guest Post: “The Billable Hour will Die in 5 years” and other Pathetic Pieces of Professor Prophecy

Boozy’s Note: Today I welcome back our prior contributor, Bill  M. Hours, the insurance defense attorney who’s come in from the cold to talk about the asinine predictions his law professors and classmates made regarding the practice of law in the future. 

I like Bill. Bill has the requisite amount of snark. I’ll just shut up and let him show it off for you.

Enjoy! Continue reading “Guest Post: “The Billable Hour will Die in 5 years” and other Pathetic Pieces of Professor Prophecy”

F**k Avvo.

It’s been a long time since I had to censor a post title. I don’t tend to place curse words in the post titles simply because it’s bad practice, and it decreases the number of lawyers and legal folk that will promote, retweet, or link to the post in the long run. Some people care about what their social media displays, because they’ve linked the social media accounts to their professional image and firms and can’t really promote stuff that blatantly curses out others. It’s bad form for a lawyer to be professionally retweeting stuff about bondage gear and the like, and it’s bad form for a lawyer to be promoting blog posts that contain a string of curse words.

But Avvo, the legal website that lets people ask questions for free and allows lawyers to answer those questions for free, has drawn the anger of a drunken litigator for the last goddamn time. I’ve had it. I’ve had it up to my fucking throat in relation to this cesspool of legal marketing disguised as an “access to justice” resource for the general public and their “gun to your head” tactic of recruiting attorneys lockstep into their site. It’s time, motherfuckers. It’s fucking time for the reckoning of the angered lawyer to come down upon you with the full fucking force and let you know exactly how fucking much most practicing lawyers hate your exploitative asses.

Cover your goddamn ears, ye of big firm connections, because today Lawyers & Liquor is lashing out for the little guy who doesn’t have the goddamn time to answer the phone and explain for the 15th fucking time to some faceless rep that they have no goddamn interest in buying a promoted listing from you.

Today, we’re the Avvo-fucking-Avengers.

Continue reading “F**k Avvo.”

Four Reasons I’m Totally Okay With Not Being At Clio Con.

So this week, as this post is being typed and going live, there’s a conference full of lawyers going on in New Orleans. Called “Clio Cloud Conference,” it’s as if decades of governmental corruption, a goddamn hurricane, and having a dozen people bet they can tell you “where you got them shoes at” wasn’t enough punishment for choosing to live in the original city of perpetual sin (seriously, that place has all of the Big 7 available within easy walking distance from your hotel), an internet lawyer company decided attorneys should descend like locusts from the heavens on the fair city for a few days. Of course, this doesn’t include yours truly.  Because yours truly can’t justify taking off a Monday and Tuesday to fly down to New Orleans, wear horribly loud Hawaiian shirts, and “network” with people like Keith from Associate’s Mind or any of the other legal luminaries that will be rampaging around the Quarter.

Instead, I’m in my office with a desk overflowing with files, bad fucking music playing in the background, and a cup of coffee as black and bitter as my goddamn soul is.

But I’m not bitter about the fact every other goddamn lawyer on the internet seems to be gathered in a cesspit of fun and depravity. Not at all. Why would I be bitter about that? Shit, I can even give you four good reasons why I totally don’t even fucking care that I’m not at the Clio Cloud Conference in New Orleans!

Continue reading “Four Reasons I’m Totally Okay With Not Being At Clio Con.”

New Milford Hates Fetishes: Politics, Optics, and Fetishes

So I was gonna spend some time today on the whole “1L Guidance” thing again, but you know when life reaches up and smacks you around a little? That happened Friday evening as I was preparing to go out and be the Amazing Dancing Badger for a group of furries in Connecticut over the last weekend. This time, the dose of reality came in the form of a link from the super-secret LawyerSlack, a place where attorneys gather…you know, like a Bar Association meeting but with less liquor and pretentiousness.  Someone posted an article about a Connecticut Councilman from the town of New Milford who “voluntarily resigned” after his participation in a certain fandom – possibly one filled with large talking animals and a love of the movie Zootopia – became even more exposed than it had been before.

And, because I’m not a goddamn fan of hypocrisy, let’s talk about this shit.

Continue reading “New Milford Hates Fetishes: Politics, Optics, and Fetishes”

The ABA Web Top 100: Getting Out The Vote – Boozy’s Picks

OH SNAP!  It’s time to start nominating people for the ABA’s Top Web Top 100!

So, this is the internet popularity/substantive discussion contest that lawyers engage in every year. Essentially, we all get together and vote for whose website we like the most, and watch the losers not acknowledge the ABA Top 100 is, you know, a thing. I find it amusing that I was nominated for this considering my public feelings and opinions on the ABA, but let’s be completely fucking honest here: I’m a big old whore. I will most definitely take accolades from anyone willing to give them to me.  Even the ABA, who, as we’ve discussed, has a time traveling power that allowed them to establish the first clothier on the banks of the Rubicon.

So, to appease the internet overlords, I’m going to follow the trend and let you know who the hell I think deserves recognition for this (prestigious?) honor:

Continue reading “The ABA Web Top 100: Getting Out The Vote – Boozy’s Picks”